My Dream

Last night I had the most ridiculous dream EVER, and I have to share it with somebody. Also, since it is heavily TV-related, it seems appropriate for this blog.

So, in my dream, I am watching The Hills, and they have just introduced a new character named "Brooke." Only "Brooke" is played by Penelope Cruz (with crimped hair). And she is on. Fire. Yelling at people, sassing, telling Audrina she betrayed her trust. Everything. So I totally freak out, and am like "OH MY FUCKING GOD PENELOPE CRUZ IS ON THE HILLS!"

But my boyfriend, whom I am watching it with, looks at me like I'm crazy and tells me that it's not Penelope Cruz, and that it's just a coincidence that the two look alike. But she had her accent and everything! So I keep insisting that it is, in fact, the Spanish Oscar winner, but he is not convinced. Sigh...it was seriously so frustrating.

So THEN, at some point, my dream transitions to the next day and I get a call from my mom, telling me that she and my dad were at a silent auction and won an internship position at Command PR (the PR company that those two horrible gays run on that new godawful E! show). Since they obviously wouldn't be using it (why did they bid on it then?), they though I might want it. Score!

So, I quit my job (?) and head to my first day of work at Command PR, and at this point the narrative changes, and I am now actually on a reality TV show. It cuts to some random girls in a fancy all-glass Downtown L.A. office being like "Ugh, I totally don't trust this guy. I mean, his parents bought his way into this position. Can he keep up?" Totally talking about me. Bitches.

THEN! All of a sudden Whitney Port is there and she's like "Aw, come on guys! Give him a chance! I looked at his resume, and he's got a lot of good experience." Ultimately, she convinces them, and they give me a chance. Whitney is so nice!

So then it's back to me, going to the office. So, I arrive in the reception area and...Patti effing Stanger from The Millionaire Matchmaker is working the front desk. What she's doing there is anybody's guess. Maybe the Millionaire's Club was having some hard times?

Anyway, she's totally in full bitch mode, yelling at some random other intern, and makes her cry. As the girl runs off, Patti turns to me and says, "Oh, so you must be the new guy. I hope you know what you're gettin' into!" To this, I reply "Oh, but I'm not doing fashion PR, I'm doing business to business (?)," to which she gives a knowing nod, and sends me on my way. And then I wake up.

So! There it is. That's what I dream about. But what does it all meeeeeeean?!



I think it means I watch way too much goddamned reality TV.