Friday, January 9, 2009
Do not want.
"Defecography is an x ray of the anorectal area that evaluates completeness of stool elimination, identifies anorectal abnormalities, and evaluates rectal muscle contractions and relaxation. During the exam, the doctor fills the rectum with a soft paste that is the same consistency as stool. The patient sits on a toilet positioned inside an x ray machine and then relaxes and squeezes the anus to expel the paste. The doctor studies the x rays for anorectal problems that occurred as the paste was expelled."
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Worstquality Returns, or the time I saw Janice Dickinson at Starbucks
Apologies for the long no-post gap. I was [insert made up excuse for my laziness].
So the other day I stopped at the Starbucks on Sunset next to Saddle Ranch (the Saddle Rance of D-list reality show weave-pulling fame)on my way to work. I don't usually go there, because the parking lot is tiny and an s-show, but I had a giftcard.
So I park my car, and walk up to the door just as an extremely thin woman walks out with her arm around some old dude. The old man was nondescript in a pea coat, but the woman looked ridiculous. Like I said she was skeleton-thin, and had a scary plastic surgery face with big monster lips and cheek implants. Also, she was kinda old, and not wearing makeup, which made her face look like a weird paper bag mask. Kinda like the Fandango puppets only anorexic and more rumpled. Her outfit was similarly nuts: leggings (natch), Ed Hardy t-shirt and matching Ed Hardy sweatshirt (vom), and one of those knit caps with the pom pom and the ear flaps, making her look like she was from Hollywood via Lapland.
So anyway, I keep going on my merry way until I hear an unmistakable loud whisky-voice. Its at that point I realize its no mere, woman, but...
JANICE DICKINSON!
Ok so thats not Janice Dickinson, its Zorak in a wig, but its 6 of one, half a dozen of another, ya know?
Seriously though, best LA celebrity sighting to date. I just wish it wasn't 8 in the morning so she was more lucid and doing crazy stuff. Oh well...
So the other day I stopped at the Starbucks on Sunset next to Saddle Ranch (the Saddle Rance of D-list reality show weave-pulling fame)on my way to work. I don't usually go there, because the parking lot is tiny and an s-show, but I had a giftcard.
So I park my car, and walk up to the door just as an extremely thin woman walks out with her arm around some old dude. The old man was nondescript in a pea coat, but the woman looked ridiculous. Like I said she was skeleton-thin, and had a scary plastic surgery face with big monster lips and cheek implants. Also, she was kinda old, and not wearing makeup, which made her face look like a weird paper bag mask. Kinda like the Fandango puppets only anorexic and more rumpled. Her outfit was similarly nuts: leggings (natch), Ed Hardy t-shirt and matching Ed Hardy sweatshirt (vom), and one of those knit caps with the pom pom and the ear flaps, making her look like she was from Hollywood via Lapland.
So anyway, I keep going on my merry way until I hear an unmistakable loud whisky-voice. Its at that point I realize its no mere, woman, but...
JANICE DICKINSON!
Ok so thats not Janice Dickinson, its Zorak in a wig, but its 6 of one, half a dozen of another, ya know?
Seriously though, best LA celebrity sighting to date. I just wish it wasn't 8 in the morning so she was more lucid and doing crazy stuff. Oh well...
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