So, that happened.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

So, the Oscars happened last night. Overall, I thought it was pretty meh. Sure, there were some touching speeches and interesting moments, but the whole thing was seriously lacking on surprises. Yawn.

Some things I loved and hated were:

Meryl Streep (Loved)
Who doesn't love this bitch? She just seems so cool and down to earth, like some one I'd want to hang out with. Also, she looked amazing. At first I thought her dress (designed by Project Runway alum Chris March) looked very 80's shoulder padish, like something she would have worn in Death Becomes Her, but as the night wore on, I grew to really like it.

Also, did anyone notice how good the lighting on her was? Seriously, everyone else looked like they were in normal, theater audience lighting, but Meryl had inexplicable radiant light, perhaps from heaven above. Girl looked good, s'all I'm sayin.

George Clooney (Hated)
Seriously, what's this dude's problem? I've never seen someone maintain a sourpuss for 3+ hours straight. Jezebel has a great collection of his faces here. You don't want to be there, you're over it, fine, then don't show up! Nobody is forcing you to come to this awards ceremony with your hot, ESL, probably dumb as a bag of rocks girlfriend. Stay home. What a douche.

This Bitch (Loved)


How awesome was this? That poor directorgay was just getting started into his sappy speech and then everyone's drunk aunt had to come up and ruin it. Still, great TV.

20 Minute Long Best Actor/Actress Circle Jerks (Hated)
So unnecessary. Do we really care that Michelle Pfeiffer thought it was fun working with Jeff Bridges a hundred years ago? Or that Vera Farmiga was super stoked to work with George Clooney because he is "attractive?" No. Nobody cares except for these self-indulgent assholes.

You know what I would have LOVED though? If they did this for best supporting actress, and Pumkin went up to talk about the time Mo'Nique called her "the whore of Charm School." That would have been awesome.

Catherine Bigelow Winning (Loved)
Granted, I didn't see The Hurt Locker, and I know a lot of people don't think it was the best movie of the year, but it was still kinda heartwarming to see her win and how emotional she got. Also, it's pretty cool that the first female winner for Best Director got it for such a non-traditionally female film. So, props to her.

Sandy's Big Win (HATED HATED HATED HAAAAATED!)
Look, I'm sure Sandra Bullock is a nice person or whatever, but seriously, fuck that. I know a lot of people are saying that she derved it, and it was her time, but to that I say, "What do you mean she deserved it?" Sandra Bullock builds a career out of doing mediocre performances in shitty movies, and then she makes one film that was decently acted, and now she deserves an Oscar? And for THIS movie of all movies? Blech. I will say her speech was touching though.



So yeah, those were basically my highlights. Other things I liked were Sean Penn's usual awards show weirdness, Gabourey Sidibe working it during the intro, and a surprise appearance by Oprah. Those were all great. The rest though? Predictable masturbatory snoozefest.

Oh, and WTF was up with the length? 3 and a half hours is unacceptable. And how could they leave Bea Arthur and Farrah Fawcett out of the dead people segment? Shameful!