Monday, January 18, 2010

Big Love Recap: Bill's latest crazy idea is CRAZY!

Yes! Big Love is baaaaack! I could just be high off of Chloe Sevigny's big Golden Globe win last night, but I really feel like this season is off to a GREAT start. Although I realize I'm starting recapping 1 episode in, but better late than never, right?

Basically, the season started with a few big ticket items:
1. Roman is indeed dead, and Adaleen had been keeping his body in the compound's meat freezer (creepy!)
2. Nikki’s surprise teen daughter Cara Lynn is going to be staying at the Henricksons, though she may not be as fond of it as she lets on.
3. Albie cruises a guy in a park, who turns out to be Dale Tomasson, the court-appointed manager of the UEB trust. Awkwaaaaard!

Anyway, we open this week at the Utah capital building, where Dale is grilled (and not in the sexy way) about his taking over managing the UEB trust. The interrogating representative gets all anti-polygamist and says that they should just bulldoze all the compounds and prosecute all polygamists. By the pensive, "Oh golly jeez" look on his face as he hears this, Bill doesn't seem to like this one bit. What will he do?!

Meanwhile, Nikki and Cara Lynn watch the Roman funeral coverage on the TV with serious faces. While that's going on, Bill receives some mysterious files with all sorts of pictures and letters in them, again making the “golly gosh” face.

Later during dinner, Bill makes the ABSOLUTELY INSANE announcement that with the increasingly virulent anti-polygamist rhetoric in the capital he has decided to run for office. The wives are, needless to say, a little confused about this new direction, which, duh, they should be. What is Bill thinking?!

Nikki takes the opportunity to try and convince Bill that ACTUALLY he should be the new prophet of Juniper Creek, and he just got his celestial wires crossed, but it doesn’t work. Anyway, they all get mad at him, and he gets mad that they aren't being supportive and storms off. For someone who is supposed to hold the priesthood of his family, he certainly acts like a big baby.

Escaping her father’s latest insane idea, Sara heads home to Scott, where he brings up the idea that they should just get married now, by a judge, without anyone else's blessing. Why get with a church they don't believe in, anyway? Especially one led by Bill.

Back at the Henrickson household during their always entertaining sister-wife meetings, Margene brings up how much her new home shopping business would suffer if they're exposed. Barb gets all sassy and angry, as usual, and Nikki tries to once again push the idea of Bill being the new Roman. Nobody listens to anybody, and they leave in a tiff. Why can’t they just get along?!

That afternoon, Nikki discovers Margene's bank statement while rummaging through her trash like a raccoon in prairie garb. Barb catches her, and at first reprimands Nikki for snooping, but then gets shocked at seeing how much homegirl’s pulling in from Mormon QVC. She also lets Nikki know that the files that were sent to Bill were all the files that were being kept on the family, marked case closed. She says it's over.

Except it’s not, since with the case being closed that means Nikki’s lawyer crush will be packing up and heading home. She heads over to his house, where they have an awkward talk and he yells at her basically for being crazy and messing up his whole life. So...yeah that didn't really go according to plan.

Across town, Sara visits Heather while she’s working at the drive-thru to apologize and to ask her to come to the wedding. At first Enola from Waterworld is a little cold, but when Sara threatens to sit in the drive thru until she changes her mind, she reluctantly agrees.

(Also, OMG, I just realized that this show is a total Waterworld reunion, since Jeanne Tripplehorn and Tina Majorino were both in that shit. Do you think they reminisce about it together? Being all like “Oh Jeanne, do you remember that scene where you took off your dress and boned Kevin Costner in the catamaran? That was fun!”)

At the homestead, Bill lets Nikki know that JJ is coming to dinner. She's pissed. Barb tries to convince Sara to get married in the family church by passing on her old wedding dress. Sara is thankful for it, but is still reluctant about being "sealed" in the family church, or any church for that matter. Barb puts on her sad happy mom face and walks out.

Downstairs Bill runs the idea of him gunning for office past Barb's sister and her husband, who basically say the same "Bitch, you crazy" thing that everyone else says. However, Bill is adamant about it and isn’t swayed.

Later that night, JJ and his cancer-stricken wife come over for dinner, where you can cut the tension with a knife. After a lot of passive-aggressive statements back and forth, JJ asks if they'll be coming to Roman’s funeral. When Nikki says she isn’t, the table clears out faster than the dancefloor at my Senior Prom after I requested Bjork. While Nikki and JJ stay outside hissing at eachother, Barb and Margene go inside, where Barb says how horrible it must be to have cancer on the compound, and rags on the lady’s admittedly horrible wig. Margene says she’s more creeped out by the fact that JJ doens't have fingernails, which, EW, GROSS!

Back at their appartment, Sara breaks the news to Ben (WHO I SAW AT RIDE-AID TODAY, OMG!) that she and Scott are getting married. Ben is pretty upset, and initially says that he won'd be coming to the wedding, but Scott convinces Ben that regardless of his personal views, he needs to be there.

Meanwhile, in the dead of night, JOEY AND WANDA HAVE RETURNED TO THE COMPOUND! We are obviously supposed to pay a lot of attention to this, judging from the ominous cinematography and scary music.

The next day, Adaleen and Evie go over to Nikki's house to change her mind about going to Roman's funeral. Nikki says there's no way she's going to the funeral, since she doubts Roman as the prophet, and hasn’t forgiven him for putting her in the Joy Book. Adaleen says shell never forgive Nikki if she doesn't go to the funeral. Conflict!

During their drive to the casino, Margene spills the beans to Bill that she's projected to make $134,000 this year. Bill says she needs to sign all that ish over to the family pot, but she says that things are more complicated than Denise Richards, so she wants lawyers involved. Look who's become a businesswoman all of a sudden! Get it gurrrrl!

The next day, Dale attends a creepy Mormon change-the-gays support group, and totally shits his pants when ALBIE SHOWS UP! After the meeting they have a confrontation outside. Dale is all "Look, we boned in the woods once, but ain’t nothing more gonna happen than that." Albie responds by making out with him for a few minutes until Dale freaks out and speeds away in his Prius (which doesn’t do much for his masculinity, BTW. Mmmmhmmm).

Also that day, Bill and Barb meet with a pastor at a normal Mormon church, where they lie and say how they've strayed, but have found the light again and are ready to get their LDS on. They pledge to dissavow their past and dissolve their other marriages. Scandalous! Afterwards, Barb makes it known how uncomfortable she feels lying about all this.

Next in the chain of weird stuff happening to Bill, he has a run-in with Joey while he's alone at their new church. He tells Joey that he wants to run for office, but Joey says that instead of running for office, he should be gunning for the prophet position. Like with Nikki, Bill says that's not his path, which Joey totally freaks out about.

Back at the compound, JJ creeps on Wanda and insinuates that he knows Joey killed Roman. He mysteriously reminds her that he has something very precious to her. What could that be?! Judging from how nuts Wanda is, that something precious could just be a bag full of paperclips or something.

At home, Barb catches Heather and Sara on their way to the wedding, sans Barb's wedding dress. She freaks out when Sara says that not only is she getting married at the courthouse, but she isn’t going to have a celestial marriage either.

Margene and Nikki talk about Bill's plans for office, where she questions Nikki's feelings for Bill. After she's pressed, Nikki admits that she doesn't know how she feels anymore. SHOCK!

Later, Sara confronts Bill in the back yard about her plans to get married. Sara says that she doesn't want to have to hide her beliefs any more, which is why she didn't want to tell Bill. She leaves, hoping she has Bill's blessing.

That night, in the CREEPIEST SCENE ON TV, everyone at the compound gathers to put Roman into the ground while they sing a weird Mormon prairie hymn. Also, SURPRISE! NIKKI IS THERE! Blood is thicker than water, I guess, even if that blood tried to sell you off in an underage girl catalog.

Also, did anyone else think it was weird how well all the Juniper Creekers sang? They should cut an album!

Back at Casa de Henrickson, Bill calls a last minute family meeting, where definitively says that he WILL be running for office, and they'll be serving openly. Once he wins the office, then they'll come out of the closet as polygamists, and see what happens. Hopefully, he says, they'll put a new, forward-thinking face on polygamy.

The other big news, as everyone assembles outside, is that Sara and Scott have decided to get married celestially in the back yard with the family there, in Barb's old wedding dress. Barb does her signature teary-eye-and-cry. Awww, how heartwarming. You know what’s not heartwarming? That last lingering look on Nikki's face, showing she obviously wants love like that, which she's not sure she has with Bill anymore. Chloe Sevs totally deserved the Golden Globe.

So anyway, that was the episode! Next week it looks like things are gonna get more intense, and JJ is gonna get even creepier. Wild!

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