Monday, June 7, 2010

I think I am in love with Lindy West.

Recently, I saw The Worst Film in the History of American Cinema, also known as Sex and the City 2. I've spent a little over a week now trying to verbalize just how terrible the film really was, but was struggling to find the words. Was it because of the terrible writing? The parade of over-the-top Gucci clown suits? The offensive Middle Eastern stereotypes? The scene where SPOLER ALERT Samantha smears estrogen cream on her vagina in the middle of her glass-walled Times Square office, in full view of her assistant? The fact that it is TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS LONG?! The answer to all is yes, but also, so much more!

It was in the midst of ruminating on the shittiness of this film that a friend of mine sent me Lindy West's review from The Stranger, and let me tell you, it is solid gold. She enumerates the film's awfulness with such scathing, hilarious verbage it makes seeing the film almost worthwhile just so you can fully appreciate her rage.

My favorite part:

"Samantha, being the prostitute sexual revolutionary that she is, rages against the machine by publicly grabbing the engorged penis of a man she dubs "Lawrence of My-Labia." When the locals complain (having repeatedly asked Samantha to cover her nipples and mons pubis in the way of local custom), Samantha removes most of her clothes in the middle of the spice bazaar, throws condoms in the faces of the angry and bewildered crowd, and screams, "I AM A WOMAN! I HAVE SEX!" Thus, traditional Middle Eastern sexual mores are upended and sexism is stoned to death in the town square."

Seriously, READ IT! It's worth it for the phrase "emaciated goblin shoulders" alone.

Even if you couldn't give two shits about the movie, or have never heard of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte (lucky you), READ IT!

P.S. Also good, her article about the worst popes ever.

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