Thursday, October 2, 2008

Previously, on Top Fist...

TV. I love it. In all forms, and in all incarnations. TV on TV. TV on DVD. TV on DVD played on a TV and filmed and then projected onto a film screen. TV projected onto the faces of twentysomething nude models painted white, etc. etc.

However, my favorite genre of TV is reality, for which Bravo is hands down the best network (though for garbage VH1 is giving them a run for their money). Seriously, there is not a single show on that network that I will not watch. Well, with the exception of those occasional Law and Order: Criminal Intent 10 hour k holes that they fall into sometimes (Honestly, Criminal Intent? That is seriously, like, the worst Law and Order spinoff ever. It's all about SVU).

That being said, lately I have been noticing how...focused the Bravo shows seem to be. The fact that Bravo is the network of gays isn't news, and is admittedly a lot of its appeal to me, but sometimes I can't help feeling like I am being pandered to. The whole Bravo as gayest fucking network to ever exist thing seems to have all started with Queer Eye (which, come to think of it, I hated. So fine, there is one Bravo original that I didnt like).

From that show's success, all of a sudden fags and their hags flocked to the network, and from this newfound viewership sprung an increasingly gay crop of shows like Project Runway, Kathy Griffin, Shear Genius, Top Chef, Top Design, and all the rest. While I guess they're not explicitly gay, a casual glance at the cast/ contestants of these programs illustrates who the shows are aimed at.

I just wish Bravo would just stop beating around the bush and start Top Fist, or Project Butt Cleavage. I mean, lets call a spade a spade. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush when the pots calling the kettle black and a stich in time saves nine as long as the early bird gets the worm...

Wait, what was I talking about?

Oh! right! Bravo! Don't get me wrong, I love that network and every show it keeps queefing out of its gaping chotch-pit, but I just wish it would stop with the not-so-subtle wink to gay people and just like, dive in, ya know?

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